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- - - Messenger Archives: Belltown Messenger #54 - April 2008 - - -
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SINCE CERTAIN right-wing radio guys have no qualms about using or misusing people's names in order to make character-assassination implications, let's compare Vladmir Putin's handpicked successor/flunky Dimitry Medvedev with the locally based GOP-talk spewer Michael Medved: One is a sniveling, butt-kissing toady to a ruthless, anti-democratic despot with delusions of godhood. And one is the new President of Russia.

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WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, RIP: The National Review founder and Firing Line TV host wrote in 1986, "I asked myself the other day, `Who else, on so many issues, has been so right so much of the time?' I couldn't think of anyone." Some of the issues he was "so right" on included the civil rights movement (emphatically against), Joseph McCarthy (for), the Vietnam war (for), US support for "friendly" homicidal dictators (for), and rock music (against).

His early opposition to the John Birch Society was mostly tactical and cultural; he wanted a more respectable right wing, with a clear, one-way flow of power from Wall Street to Main Street. Similarly, his latter-day opposition to the Iraq war can be interpreted as a plea to put some brakes on a conservative movement heading inexorably toward a train wreck.

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PRESS CLIPPED: The Sunday Times/P-I has cut its total opinion pages (which, by contract, are alloted 50/50 to each paper) from six pages to four. When the joint Sunday edition launched, 24 and a half years ago, each paper got six pages to express its "editorial voice."

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RETRO CATHODE CORNER: I've been watching the DVD first-season box set of NBC's Saturday Night, soon to be retitled Saturday Night Live. I was 18 and newly on my own when the show debuted-the perfect target audience for sophomoric humor.

Other reviewers have noted that the show took a few episodes to jell, with the still-famous original cast of Second City/National Lampoon alums. But I have a different impression, that Lorne Michaels's basic concept and aesthetic were fully formed at the debut. From episode one, Michaels was juxtaposing New York export culture (TV shows and commercials) with New York local culture (particularly off-Broadway revues). For one of the world's biggest media companies, Michaels simulated a small, funky, fringe-theater experience. Broadway theater set designer Eugene Lee divided the huge Studio 8H into a series of intimate, textured living rooms and offices; they looked like places where Gleason and Carney could have cavorted. Bob Pook's cute sketch title cards and Edie Baskin's hand-colored cast photos furthered the notion that this was no Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour. This would be a different type of TV, a show viewers could trust to speak their language, even when that language became a stream of catch phrases.

This affect spread to the musical guests. In the show's launch, they were almost always mellow singer-songwriters and aging R&B legends. Michaels clearly didn't know what to do with ABBA (who were cast over his dead body by network bosses) and Elvis Costello. He preferred nice music by people with genuine Sixties-generation cred.

Even the Muppets' ongoing "Dregs and Vestiges" skits were really about the decline of the previous decade's dreams. Ugly monster characters exchanged shticks about sex, drugs, and decay, on a planet whose good years were long past. This was the setting, the picture frame for SNL's comedy, a brand of comedy that was simultaneously brutal and gentle, experimental and commercial. In time, the commercial side would become ascendant.


The former Speakeasy.net office at 2222 Second Ave. previously housed the AHA! Theater. Now, it's returning to that function as the new home of Freehold Theatre. For 16 years, Freehold has held acting, scriptwriting, and directing classes at the Odd Fellows Hall on Capitol Hill. That's building's been sold to developers who've announced steep rent hikes; Freehold's the first Odd Fellows tenant to find a new home. Freehold's holding an open house in the new space on Wednesday, April 2, 7-9 p.m. Full class schedules are at freeholdtheatre.org.

JOHNS FOR JUSTICE: Ex-New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer's sudden downfall has engendered infinite rants, jokes, comedy sketches, editorial cartoons, and, oh yeah, blog posts.

A few of the commentators actually talked about the Spitzer case. Some of them, particularly the Wall St. Journal editorial page, postively gloated in the comeuppance of a former prosecutor, who'd risen to fame by aggressively targeting sleazy tactics among stock traders.

Some wingnut bloggers smirked that a Democrat had been "got" in a sting after several Republican sex scandals. (Historically, male politicians of all parties, races, and nationalities have loved them hookers, through pretty much all of recorded history.) Some progressive bloggers questioned why Spitzer, a fighting Democrat on the rise, was targeted by the highly politicized Bush "Justice" Department.

Some of the Spitzer commentators veer far from the original, simple scandal, digressing into what the writers/artists/comedians would really rather talk about. Among these digressions: wives who stand by their men too much; men with reputations on the line who do compulsive, dumb things.

I also want to digress to a side issue.

With every famous sex-work client who gets caught and pleas for public understanding, an opportunity is lost.

I want one of these guys to stand up forthrightly and announce:

"I've been a John. I AM a John. I admit it. No, I proclaim it.

I liked it. I may do it again, maybe soon, maybe even today.

These women are fabulous. They deserve our utmost respect and admiration.

If my own darling daughter or beloved son chose this as a temporary or even a permanent career, I'd offer my sincerest support. And so would my dear wife. And so would my dear wife's gardener/lover, and her driver/lover.

And so should all of you.

That's why, as one of this state's top public figures, I introduce a bill today to legalize, tax, and regulate this vital sector of our economy.

Furthermore, this bill will provide full health benefits for these workers, plus a great retirement plan.

And finally, I'm authorizing the state tourism board to launch a new campaign aimed at the clean, upscale sex tourist-especially if he's paying in stable Euros. 'Come for the brothels; stay for the restaurants.'"

I'm not in a position to create such legislation, only to advocate it.

And I might never get the opportunity to create such legislation.

Because I may never get elected to public office.

Because I'm admitting to have been a customer of escort services.

I've also had close friends who worked for escort services; some as service providers, some as office administrators.

I'd like them to have some more respect from our governments and our society, for the fine work they do and for the fine people they are. And I'd like the profession's private customers to become its public supporters.

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AVON CALLING: Some British gent claims "Shakespeare's Plays Were Written by a Jewish Woman." I'll leave it to you to imagine Hamlet's soliloquy recited by Fran Drescher, or Juliet's balcony speech emoted by Sarah Silverman.
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